Where can I buy a winning poker bot?!

Ok, so no one has asked me this question yet via this blog, but in anticipation for the moment that they do I thought I'd write this...

Ask yourself this. If someone is making a decent living off a poker bot then why would they sell it?

Yes, you might be able to buy bots that can beat the 1c/2c games straight out the box. The reason the developer is selling these bots is because they figure they can make more money from selling the bot than running it.

If someone already has a decent winning bot, then do you really think they're going to want to introduce the hassle of customers? Are they going to want to increase the risk of being caught, as any poker site can pose as a customer, buy the software, and then just look for indicators of that software being run. Either looking for the process, or patterns that are specific to that bot.

Let's say poker bots are priced the same way as a business, so about 3.5x the annual profit is a fairly standard metric. That means a poker bot that makes $50,000 a year, is worth about $175,000. Would you pay $175,000 for a poker bot? If so, drop me an email! ;-) But seriously, no one is going to be able to write a poker bot unless they are intelligent, and no intelligent person is going to sell a decent winning poker bot for $50. Free money is worth a lot more than that.

Because of this, and the fact that winning poker bots are near impossible to write, winning bots are never likely to be a widespread problem in the world of online poker. So if you're browsing the internet and have stumbled across this page while looking for a poker bot that can let you retire and buy yourself a yacht in the Caribbean, then save yourself some time and money and give up now. You're not going to find one.